It doesn’t matter if Taylor Swift is gay–but the way you’re talking about it does.
You're losing me.
To know me is to know my love for Taylor Swift–and when her presence is ubiquitous, as it is now, I find with each passing era I am pulled in two different directions.
The first: absolutely enthralled, totally entranced, obnoxiously obsessed, bringing her up without even thinking about it, like word vomit.
And then there’s the other side: the little nagging feeling I have every time Swift meets a new achievement, surpasses another record, breaks another glass ceiling. I want to be proud of her, I want to relish in the incredible accomplishments of a woman whose talent is unquestionable, whose songs have wormed their way into the ear of even the most staunch opponents, and whose lyrics speak to the masses in a way that few ever have.
It’s these lyrics that allow Swift to connect so deeply with her fans. She takes her personal experiences and feelings and weaves them together into songs that millions relate to. She is arguably one of the most famous people in the world–yet even the most low key level of fandom feels like being her close, personal friend. She’s been sharing her art with the world for over half my life now.
Did I directly relate to Swift when she was singing about dating boys on the football team and kissing in the rain and being nice to your mom as a teenager? Not really (I love my mom and don’t deserve her) but the feelings they evoked were more important and notable. Not only was she telling me “yeah I’ve felt that way too”, but creating a space in which it was okay to feel that way that sounded really good and had lyrics perfect for singing and screaming, etc.
When I entered my early (honestly more like mid)-20’s, I started reckoning with the fact that perhaps I was not what I had always presumed (forced) myself to be, which was straight. Being straight felt very necessary and valuable to the narrative in my head which was based solely on what everyone around me did, including Taylor. Writing about Drew, he/him, Stephen, HIS eyes.
Once I realized that I was gay, it made complete sense to me that Taylor might also be. I am a nobody–it doesn’t matter whether I’m (or anyone but more on that later) gay, straight, pansexual, demisexual, asexual. My parents are also pretty chill (saying this yet I still haven’t told my dad lol) so the stakes for my being queer are low. For the first few years of my queerness, my honeymoon period I guess you could say, it made sense to me that Taylor would want to keep something like this under wraps. I may have even said we shouldn’t speculate about her sexuality, that that is wrong.
It is now that my short honeymoon period with queerness, and my long, LONG honeymoon period with Miss Swift, has come to an end.
What sparked all this you (didn’t) ask? Two weeks ago the New York Times published an opinion piece by Anna Parks that outlined the case for Taylor’s supposed queerness. Although the piece was very comprehensive and respectfully crafted to avoid any outright mention of muses, it was met with almost immediate and very aggressive backlash. Not three days after the Times piece dropped, an “associate” from “Taylor’s camp” went to CNN Business to call it “invasive, untrue, and inappropriate.”
While I don’t believe this was the slam dunk on the gay rumors as most people think (when Taylor wants to shut something down, Tree takes care of it), that is beside the point.
The point is the reaction of the general public, and especially the straight public, really feels like a setback in terms of acceptance of queerness in the mainstream. That the mere thought, idea, or assertion that Swift could possibly be dropping hints that she’s gay could revile someone enough to call it “harmful”, “disgusting”, and “delusional” does not align with all the love and acceptance everyone was preaching when blondie was trotting around with Todrick and the Fab Five in the “You Need To Calm Down” music video.
Because this is also where everyone is getting it wrong: being queer is morally neutral. There is nothing bad about it. There is nothing disgusting, harmful, delusional, crazy, or shameful about it. If Taylor is gay that is fine. If she’s not that is fine. Whether or not Taylor Swift is queer, again, is beside the point.
The point is that Taylor Swift likely will not see you acting like being gay is the worst, most disgusting accusation. But young, closeted queer people will.
From what we know, Taylor sees what’s going on. She interacts with her fans online (albeit times are much different than in the Tumblr days when she was liking Gaylor posts and lesbian porn); she posts about another shitty, overpriced merch drop, and the 8 vinyl variants you can pick up at your local record store (but also the “exclusive **random lyric** variant” available only at **insert big box store**).
So where is she right now? TikTok is a landmine–I’ve heard and seen more disgusting commentary about the “gaylor” community in the last week than in the last two years that I’ve been actively paying attention to and interacting with the community (and I was around and aware of kissgate in 2014).
There is this vitriolic hate being spewed in the name of defending Taylor, which we all know is always happening. Swifties are way too intense, me included. If you think I’m over the top now, you should have seen me during the Kimye scenario. I was broken (lol). But right now, instead of lobbing insults and hurling suggestions of taking one's life at Swift’s detractors, her fans are now throwing their weight behind taking down other Taylor Swift fans. Mostly the queer ones, who through lived experiences and thoughtful analysis have uncovered countless pieces of queer symbolism, sapphic historical and literary references, and clever hairpin drops throughout Swift’s discography. Since the Speak Now era (2009/2010), there is a possibility that Taylor was trying to tell us something.
And this is where I begin to really struggle. Because if Taylor IS trying to tell us something–she’s allowing her queer fans online to bear the brunt of this backlash (including Chely Wright and her wife, who was harassed after posting the Times piece on her Instagram story; she took it down). Meanwhile, Taylor and football beard are escaping on her private jet to emit 100 people’s worth of carbon emissions into the atmosphere.
In the context of this situation, if she is straight, she’s a crook who was caught. Because in the case that she isn’t gay–than she has a lot of fucking explaining to do for shit like this:
And there are many, many more signs. Are we just supposed to believe that it was all just a reach? That all the hairpin drops are just in our head? That every rainbow emoji was just for the aesthetic? That performing at the Stonewall Inn, during pride, was a straight thing to do? That centering oneself, in a bisexual flag wig, in a music video absolutely dripping with gay innuendos, icons, and imagery, was a straight thing to do?
Yes, I want her to be queer. And not because I want her to be more like me and me more like her–because I am becoming increasingly aware of the fact she grows farther and farther from the person I thought she once was: embracing change to reflect the times, speaking out for marginalized people, doing things for the collective good of ALL women, not just herself (can count those instances on one hand), coming to terms with the past but letting go of it to forge something better and brighter. I don’t want her to just be the performative spineless white feminism toting pop star that proves everyone right. She has the chance to not only be the greatest songwriter of a generation–but the voice of a generation. If she continues down this path, I don’t know if she can achieve the latter.
The scope of Swift’s fame has climbed so exponentially that I don't think a younger me could even begin to understand it, but I don’t think it would have surprised me. I have worshiped the ground this woman walks on for as long as I can remember, but just as everyone caught on, my disillusionment started to grow: her involvement with Matty Healy and SA apologist (and Wii Sports character love u bryanlicious) Brittany Mahomes; the over monetization of her fan base resulting in billionaire status; an unforgivable level of carbon emissions from her private jet; over three months into into a genocide happening in real time and not one peep from her when the (twisted) reality is her influence could lead to an insurmountable public push for a ceasefire.
What I mean is: it’s sad that if I went back in time, I’d have to tell the younger me that future Taylor had lost the plot. Yes she was still making incredible music, collaborating with some of today’s best acts, putting on incomparable productions, at the top of her game physically–but it just isn’t the same. I still love her, but I feel like I’ve lost her. Everyday she strays farther and farther from what I thought would be her legacy.
Pop stars aren’t meant to be political beacons–Joni Mitchell did black face, as Phoebe Bridgers (and now me) will remind you whenever possible. I’m not saying it’s Taylor’s duty to resolve homophobia or stop war, but I thought when it came to doing what was right by the community she so loudly declared to protect and stand by, she could and would do that much.
Because others do it, unabashedly, gracefully, and fearlessly.
Maren Morris is a shining example: she recently announced her departure from country music, a declaration that its old school, boy’s club ways are not something she wants anything to do with or condones. She frequently speaks about protecting trans and LGBTQ rights, Black lives, and has joined the calls for a ceasefire in Gaza. She is able to see past the positives of a system that largely benefits her and lend her voice to change things for the betterment of everyone. Her allyship is not contingent upon what it may mean for her success or career, and it’s not active when it’s convenient for her.
And the Chicks, who at one point critics said were “redefining country music as we know it”, went through an emotionally draining several years in the early 2000’s for voicing their opposition to Bush’s war in Iraq. They were essentially blacklisted from the entire country music machine for their comments about Bush–and they didn’t back down. They DOUBLED down. They stood by what they believed and each other because it wasn’t about making money for them–or their label, who was concerned with milking every penny of their newly found cash cow. It was the joy of making music together and having the platform to share it with fans who shared the same values as them.
How rich is it that the Chicks, who essentially paved the way for women in country music, nay, all music!, to be outspoken against the backwards, violence fueled views of right-wing America–are featured on a Taylor Swift song. So is Maren, and might I add, neither of them were given verses, but Keith Urban, Future, Bon Iver, and Ed Sheeran were.
I am at a crossroads–where do I go from here? Do I swear off Swift for the rest of my life? Do I trash all my merch, my begrudgingly collected vinyls, my random stash of unofficial Taylor magazines? Do I call off the search for gaylor eggs and resume my pre-enlightened way of thinking that if Taylor wanted to come out, she would have? Do I sit by and wait for the next 50 to 60 years until her autobiography comes out, hoping to be met with righteous vindication by a long withheld confirmation she just couldn’t muster the courage to admit in 2014, 2019, 2024?
Or do I continue this dance of trying to reconcile what Taylor means to me and countless others with the reality of her actions? Is she too far gone to be held accountable, to be better, to change? The innate humanness of her songs tells me no, but greed and vengeance makes people do questionable shit.
I will leave you with a line from track two of Miss Morris’ 2023 EP The Tree, her visual and sonic adieu to country: “My only resolution, I’m allowed to change my mind. So to all the grace I never gave myself, go to hell.”
I have changed my mind on many things, many times, and yeah it is hard to give yourself grace when you’re changing and growing. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing, or at least worth trying. When the world is at your fingertips, it is absolutely, crucially worth trying.
As a swiftie since 2006!!!! - Beautifully put